Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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