bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize