I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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