FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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