what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
