So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
