it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
