We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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