It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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