We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
