no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
