sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
