Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
