Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
