my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Im part way to drunk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
