Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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