That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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