So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
