i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
