I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my poor anus
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
