ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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