Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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