call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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