If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
