I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Less talking, more tequila
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
