She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
