Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
