She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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