Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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