Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
