scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize