If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
