I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
