Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
