glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
