can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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