Your face is a jimmy john
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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