Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
