Your mouth is God's brothel.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
