He disabled his match.com account in front of me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
