What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
