She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
