last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
