When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
