jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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