Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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