I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
