Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
