Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
