apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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