oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
