so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
