I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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