Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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