I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
