community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
