I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
