then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
