apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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