Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do vagina's smell?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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