he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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