Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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