Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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