your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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