You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
is it fun? or sober?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
