hell yes lets make some ravioli
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
