remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
