I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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