If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
