giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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