We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
