i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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