I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
